A Child Chosen - Perspectives of an Adoptive Parent

New York Times’ Relative Choices

by Marcie on November 15th, 2007

With writers like Dr. Jane Aronson, Jeff Gammage, Gloria Hochman, Hollee McGinnis, Katy Robinson, and this week’s big talker, Tama Janowitz, Relative Choices is bound to be a hit.

But when they start to censor comments…people get pissed.

For the record, and as an adoptive parent, I am actually offended by the post. I think it all goes back to the fact that I didn’t save my son and I don’t think it is at all funny to think that my son, at the same age as her daughter, might be (in his case) in a mental institution or on the streets. And God forbid I ever say that to him.

A girlfriend who is now on the waiting list for a child from Ethiopia says that the talk of her adoption group is a recently published book in which many Midwestern Asian adoptees now entering their 30s and 40s complain bitterly about being treated as if they did not come from a different cultural background. They feel that this treatment was an attempt to blot out their differences, and because of this, they resent their adoptive parents.

So in a way it is kind of nice to know as a parent of a child, biological or otherwise – whatever you do is going to be wrong. Like I say to Willow: “Well, you know, if you were still in China you would be working in a factory for 14 hours a day with only limited bathroom breaks!”

And she says — as has been said by children since time immemorial — “So what, I don’t care. I would rather do that than be here anyway.”

Jae Ran, kudos to you for picking up on the saving issue. Somehow I knew you would.

How great that this adoptive parent has now made her daughter feel like she was saved from something so horrible! Whew! Great job, Ms. J. I’m sure you’ll have her never-ending gratitude forever!

What the New York Times has done, according to the prominent adoption bloggers I have found on this topic, one of which I had the opportunity to hear speak two weeks ago (great session BTW), is censor voices that criticize the post. Ummm hello free speech? And this coming from the NYT.
Racialicious created a great list of other posts (so why create another list? But make sure to digg her post.)

Save one, win valuable prizes
Relative choices?
Nail? Meet hammers.
Racist M/Paternalism at its Best
Whoa. Hey. People — this isn’t ok
Shut Up, Tama Janowitz. Just shut up. And turn in your parenting license while you’re at it.
To Willow Janowitz: You’re not alone….
All The (Adoption) News That They See Fit To Print
A Comment About the Comments
The New York Times: Gatekeeper, Censor
Tama Janowitz, My Canidate for Mother of the Year
Tama Janowitz on NYT adoption blog
Fairness Doctrine
New York Times aka “the Adoption Police?”
censorship on new york times adoption blog
New York Times Adoption Blog Censoring Adult Adoptees
Where are the Outraged Parents here?

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